Turning Wounds into Wisdom

We all have wounds in various shapes and sizes. Some of these wounds can impact our mental or physical health. Sometimes we carry these wounds for a day, a month or a lifetime.

So how do you turn your wounds into wisdom? You learn from them, you heal them, and then you release them.

 

Setting Sail

How do you know when its time to move on from a job, relationship or location?  Usually, it begins with a restlessness that is difficult to identify. Often times the feelings of discontentment will dissipate for a short period of time and then return with a vengeance.

You will start to question if its time to make a career change or end an unhappy relationship. Regardless of the situation, if you ignore the restless feelings that are stirring deep within, if you do not act on them, you may begin to experience a loss of energy or feelings of depression as nothing changes externally. Life is not meant to stay the same or it will stagnate. True growth occurs when life takes you out of your comfort zone.

Is it time for you to set sail and move on in some area of your life?  Hear the call, and trust that your journey will lead you to better shores.

When Communication Stops

We all know someone who struggles with communication, whether it is a professional colleague, a close friend or even a family member.

So what do you do when they either refuse to communicate or simply can’t?  First of all, I would look at their history, do they have a pattern of shutting down or closing off?  If so, does the conflict get resolved?  If not, are you left feeling frustrated, angry or sad?

When communication becomes an issue in work, it’s critical to work through it.  If you are unsuccessful alone, then reach out to your Supervisor or Director to help mediate the issue as most likely the person who is refusing to communicate will be forced to deal with the problem with his or her superiors.

If it is a friend or family member that refuses to communicate with you, you can give them space, and if they are not willing to resolve or address the conflict at a later reasonable amount of time, then seek outside help from a counselor or psychologist, but if they refuse this option, then I would ask yourself several questions.  Is this person willing to work with you on resolving the conflict?  If not, do you want to stay in the relationship?  Does the relationship lift you up, support you, and encourage you when you are down or struggling?  Is the relationship positive or is this person someone who leaves you feeling bad about yourself with a history and pattern of unresolved conflicts.

There is a difference between people who do not know how to communicate and those who refuse to.  People who can’t communicate will still attempt to resolve issues in their own way, whereas people who refuse to talk or address the issue are most likely engaged in a power struggle in which they will win.  This person is not interested in working on the relationship but simply wants to punish you.

Sometimes in life, we are faced with ending relationships.  Life continually shifts and changes and the people in our lives come and go.  In a professional situation, you are more likely to be encouraged to work through issues, but often times, people leave work situations because of difficulties with their colleagues.

The next time you are dealing with someone who is not communicating, ask yourself if they are willing to but unable to express their needs, or if they are simply refusing to work through important problems or misunderstandings.  Are they willing to keep your relationship, whether personal or professional on healthy terms?

Communication is not natural for everyone, but the people that are willing to work through issues with you are the ones that you will have healthy relationships with and probably want to keep around.

Android Story App for Anger and Depression

Interactive new story app about the power of choices and the importance of having hope!

The Dirty Cloud Maker

Now available on Google Play for $2.99. The Dirty Cloud Maker.  Available on Apple in July 2018.

The Dirty Cloud Maker is an inspirational story about an angry troubled character who turns his bad thoughts into dark dirty clouds and sends them out into the universe where they negatively affect others.

Journey with the Dirty Cloud Maker as he turns his miserable unhappy life, into a joy-filled, happy life.

The Dirty Cloud Maker is about the power of choices and how each choice either leads us to happiness or leads us further into despair.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=book.KaroleeBulak.TheDirtyCloudMaker

The Woman who Hasn’t Laughed in 30 Years

Laughter Therapy

I once met a woman at a laughter yoga workshop who bragged that she hadn’t laughed in thirty years.  Hearing this initially made me laugh, but then I thought, how sad…

Introductions were made at the beginning of the group as most people were there to have fun.  The energy felt light and exciting, but when it was this woman’s turn to introduce herself, everything shifted as she informed everyone that her life wasn’t happy and that she had not laughed in about three decades.  The room became silent and still and everyone’s body language changed as discomfort filled the room like a bad stench.  How could you have fun and be joyful when there was someone there who refused to laugh?  The facilitator was quick to move the group forward and lead us into a laughter exercise where the majority of us had fun and laughed about nothing.

Being a counselor, I could not help but to observe this woman to see if she would crack a smile or even giggle during the workshop, and on several occasions she was very close, but because she had introduced herself in such a negative way, she had to keep her guard up as well as her protective shield.  She had basically dared everyone at the beginning of the group to make her laugh but presented as impossible because if she had let go and enjoyed herself, her thirty-year laughter draught would have ended and then she would have to tell a different story.  Sometimes we can get stuck on negative or sad life stories, but you can always start a new story and put an end to the old one.

None of us escape life without problems or issues, that is a given fact.  Whatever the situation you find yourself in, remember that laughter is a stress reliever that increases your energy and fights off depression.  Although at the time you may not feel like laughing remember that this is exactly the time that you probably need it the most.  Laughter may not solve the initial problem or issues, but it provides a sense of relief and gives you permission to be in the present moment.

My goal is to laugh each day for the next thirty years! LOL

 

 

The Art of Story Telling

change your life story - crowd of anonymous people

In Marrakech, Morocco, the art of ” hikayat”, or storytelling is an ancient art that has been practiced for over 1000 years.  Professional storytellers will gather in the town square and tell tales of different life scenarios through fables and folklore.

We all have our own personal stories that we tell the world, and sometimes these stories are positive and sometimes they are negative.  Sometimes we get stuck in playing certain roles that are not truly authentic to who we are.  Our stories often begin at birth and are carried throughout our lifetime.  Sometimes the roles we play include our positive traits and strengths, and other times the roles become heavy, stagnant, and conditioned over time.

Sometimes our life stories celebrate the person we are, and other times the story causes pain and suffering.  Whatever your life story, you can always change it.  You can create a new story of success, love, leadership, or adventure.

What story is calling out to you?  Are there roles in life that you need to step into?  Are there roles that are old and outdated that need to end? Our life stories will change throughout our lives and can be as diverse as we are.

What story are you telling?  Is it authentic to who you really are?  If you don’t feel that your life story has served you well, then its time to change your life story, one that includes your passions, your strengths, and celebrates the authentic you.