Tag Archives: Psychology

Setting Sail

How do you know when its time to move on from a job, relationship or location?  Usually, it begins with a restlessness that is difficult to identify. Often times the feelings of discontentment will dissipate for a short period of time and then return with a vengeance.

You will start to question if its time to make a career change or end an unhappy relationship. Regardless of the situation, if you ignore the restless feelings that are stirring deep within, if you do not act on them, you may begin to experience a loss of energy or feelings of depression as nothing changes externally. Life is not meant to stay the same or it will stagnate. True growth occurs when life takes you out of your comfort zone.

Is it time for you to set sail and move on in some area of your life?  Hear the call, and trust that your journey will lead you to better shores.

Attachment to Anxiety

Most people experience anxiety on some level, whether it is mild, moderate or severe at different stages in their lives, but when anxiety prevents you from making healthy choices or moving forward, then it may be out of control.

There are many reasons for anxiety and a variety of successful treatments.  The first step is to look deeper into the anxiety and access where it originates from?  Did you have a parent who was in a constant state of worry or fear?  Sometimes parents do not have healthy coping skills and often unintentionally pass their anxiety onto their children.  Sometimes people stay in a state of anxiety because they don’t know how to free themselves from constant worry.  Although you may feel that you cannot control the anxiety, there are several methods to help you release the stress and tension both mentally and physically.

Some people just generally worry more than others.  I have heard clients say, “This is who I am”, taking on the role of anxiety as a part of their personality.  In life, at times, we can become so used to living in a constant worried or anxious state that we do not know what it feels like to be peaceful or relaxed.

Below is a list of popular and effective treatments that will help you feel calmer and healthier:

Talk to a Counselor who can help you identify the best method for you personally
Mindful Breathing
Yoga
Qiqong
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)
Anxiety Tip:

Focus on your breathing 3 minutes a day to help ground yourself into your body.  Whenever you do anything physical, it helps you to reconnect with your body and get out of your mind (where anxiety lives).

Therapeutic Tool for Depression, Anger and Self-Esteem

The Dirty Cloud Maker

 Available on Amazon, Kindle, Apple Store and Google Play

The Dirty Cloud Maker is a therapeutic tool addressing anger, depression, and self-esteem issues in children and adolescents.

Read along with the paperback version, or use the interactive story app that allows children to pop dirty clouds and make negative emotions disappear as they journey with the Dirty Cloud Maker as he transforms his dark and miserable world to a joy filled happy life.

The Dirty Cloud Maker is an inspirational story about an angry troubled character who turns his bad thoughts into dark dirty clouds and sends them out into the universe where they negatively affect others.

The Dirty Cloud Maker is a reminder of the power of choices, and how each choice we make either brings us closer to happiness or leads us deeper into despair.

Available on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Dirty-Cloud-Maker-Karolee-Bulak/dp/1721216847/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1533213981&sr=8-2&keywords=the+dirty+cloud+maker

 

Kindle:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FNH5FQ4

 

Apple Story App (Interactive):

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/dirty-cloud/id1406543017?mt=8

 

Google Play (Android):

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=book.KaroleeBulak.TheDirtyCloudMaker

When Communication Stops

We all know someone who struggles with communication, whether it is a professional colleague, a close friend or even a family member.

So what do you do when they either refuse to communicate or simply can’t?  First of all, I would look at their history, do they have a pattern of shutting down or closing off?  If so, does the conflict get resolved?  If not, are you left feeling frustrated, angry or sad?

When communication becomes an issue in work, it’s critical to work through it.  If you are unsuccessful alone, then reach out to your Supervisor or Director to help mediate the issue as most likely the person who is refusing to communicate will be forced to deal with the problem with his or her superiors.

If it is a friend or family member that refuses to communicate with you, you can give them space, and if they are not willing to resolve or address the conflict at a later reasonable amount of time, then seek outside help from a counselor or psychologist, but if they refuse this option, then I would ask yourself several questions.  Is this person willing to work with you on resolving the conflict?  If not, do you want to stay in the relationship?  Does the relationship lift you up, support you, and encourage you when you are down or struggling?  Is the relationship positive or is this person someone who leaves you feeling bad about yourself with a history and pattern of unresolved conflicts.

There is a difference between people who do not know how to communicate and those who refuse to.  People who can’t communicate will still attempt to resolve issues in their own way, whereas people who refuse to talk or address the issue are most likely engaged in a power struggle in which they will win.  This person is not interested in working on the relationship but simply wants to punish you.

Sometimes in life, we are faced with ending relationships.  Life continually shifts and changes and the people in our lives come and go.  In a professional situation, you are more likely to be encouraged to work through issues, but often times, people leave work situations because of difficulties with their colleagues.

The next time you are dealing with someone who is not communicating, ask yourself if they are willing to but unable to express their needs, or if they are simply refusing to work through important problems or misunderstandings.  Are they willing to keep your relationship, whether personal or professional on healthy terms?

Communication is not natural for everyone, but the people that are willing to work through issues with you are the ones that you will have healthy relationships with and probably want to keep around.

Half Hour Happiness

Let’s admit it, we all have them, bad days…

There are everyday bad days, like getting a flat tire or misplacing car keys, and then there are really bad days, like losing your job, breaking up with your partner, or getting ill.

So how do you survive a bad day and turn it around?  Think in short-term intervals; what can you do in the moment to lift your spirits or make yourself feel better?  Not that it will change the situation, but it can lighten your mood for a few minutes.

Here are some suggestions:

Recognize that although something bad has happened, you can shift the energy and look at what you have to be grateful for.

Practice 30 minutes of laughter yoga.  It’s scientifically proven that even fake laughter is as beneficial as real laughter.  Your body doesn’t know the difference!

Tell someone you’re having a bad day.  Sometimes just venting for a few minutes releases the crud and makes you feel better.  What’s important is that after you verbalize your feelings, that you don’ linger in the negativity.  Release and move on!

Everyone has bad days, helping someone else always feels good!

Play with your cat or dog.  Animals love to play and it’s a wonderful way to release and have fun.

By choosing to focus on something positive, you lift yourself out of the negativity and give yourself loving kindness, which is what you really need when you’re having a bad day.

Peaceful Living in a Turbulent World

Living peaceful in a turbulent world means taking responsibility for our own reactions to stressful or difficult situations or events.

As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I teach clients that we cannot control other people or what happens in life at times, but we can always choose how we react.

During this stressful time where anger and violence sweeps across our nation, remember that you have choices.  You can either join in the anger, draining your own personal energy, or you can choose the path of peace to counteract the negativity.

Remember that each day we are given the gift of life.  We can choose to use our energy in a way that either creates peace, or contributes to anger or violence.

You when feel drawn or pulled into violent new stories or situations, take a breath.  Breath deeply and make the choice to live in peace.  If you can redirect your energy, you can live a life of balance.

Today take one step to bring more peace into your life:

Learn a breathing technique

Take three minutes to sit quietly

Smile at someone

Sometimes the smallest or simplest act, can bring about the biggest changes.